My Momma Heart: Splashed by that big, deep, wave of emotion.

“You are never alone, you can always come back home.”
-Jason Mraz, 93 Million Miles

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“Just know, that wherever you go, no you are never alone, you will always get back home.” – Jason Mraz

After a night of serene snowfall, I woke up to a chilly Saturday morn. Should I go to the gym or stay nestled under my comfy spread? After a few steps, my arthritis called, “Go to the gym. You always feel better.” So, off I went. Driving slow, of course, because the roads were quite icy. En route to the YMCA, I saw a dad and his three children pulling sleds….that’s all it took.

Be still my momma heart.

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The big, deep wave of maternal emotion splashed hard. Tears welled and my heart skipped a beat. Those were the days, I thought. I wanted to roll down the window and scream, “Enjoy ‘em while their young,” but I was desperately afraid he would call the cops on a crazy redhead heckling from her car.

I got to the Y and it was closed. Oh my. I should have known. On my way home, I turned on the radio. A song played that took my breath away. It seemed the perfect theme for my morning drive, already full of nostalgia, pristine views, and thoughts of a child so far away. I pulled over and Spotify’d the song, bought it and listened to it over and over again.

Most of the time I do pretty well with the fact that my dear Candace Rose is on other side of the world, but that snowy morn…that song on the radio…those children laughing and carrying their sleds…opened the floodgates. Oh, I want to make hot chocolate and sit with her, right now. Why, oh, why is she a million miles away from me?

So, as the wave overwhelmed me, I gasped for air and made my way to the shore of Knowing. Knowing she was right in the center of God’s powerful plan for her life. Knowing without a doubt she was happy, safe, and wildly living her dream of wanderlust. Knowing she was unfolding like the rose for which she is named. Knowing….that wherever she goes, she is never alone, and that she can always get back home.

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Right in the center of her Father’s will.

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Her joy brings me joy.

Maybe your momma heart hurts right now. I understand. Let this beautiful ballad wash over your pain. Jason says it well, “The absence of the light is a necessary part.” We raise strong, independent children so they can go change the world. I just didn’t know it would hurt so much. But then, thanks to modern technology, just minutes after I returned home, she called. God is so good to this momma. He knows, doesn’t he? I sure do pray that God will provide your momma heart with whatever it needs…right now. The beautiful thing is that we can always go Home, too, can’t we? Home to our Father’s heart. WE ARE NEVER ALONE.

9 Responses to “My Momma Heart: Splashed by that big, deep, wave of emotion.”

  1. Candace Rose Rardon (@candacerardon)

    Gah, way to bring on the tears this morning, Mama! Thank you for such a beautiful, vulnerable post, though…and trust me, I so wish I were there right now sharing a hot chocolate with you. Only 3.5 more months to go!! xoxo PS – LOVE that new Jason Mraz song.

    Reply
    • janellrardon

      Sorry darling! :) I couldn’t go to sleep last night. Prayed for you the entire time I wrote….writing is praying at times. Love you!

      Reply
  2. kathysk

    I am right with you on this topic, dear friend! How did both my girls end up hundreds of miles away?!……sometimes all it takes for me is to be in the checkout line of the grocery store and see a little blonde girl in the cart ahead of me and I am instantly in tears!

    Reply
    • janellrardon

      I know. Describing it as a “wave” is the only way I know how. I’m fine and then suddenly the wave washes over me. Maybe it is a defense mechanism…I don’t know…because when I really think about it, it is hard. Raising our children was by far the most incredible work I will ever do. I know you agree, Kathy. And I add this morning, why, oh, why are you so far away? :) I know that I neglect keeping in touch but I am going to do better at that. I miss you dear friend. Big snowy hug this morning.

      Reply
  3. Rebekah Gribling

    Thank you for sharing….needed this, this dreary morning for one gypsy mother’s heart! Love this song!

    Reply
  4. Hannah

    This was such a beautiful post, and brought a tear to my eye as I know my own mother feels much the same way. I have been lucky enough to get to know Candace here in India, where she is my neighbor, and serves as a daily source of inspiration and friendship. That big Momma heart of yours did an incredible job raising such a soulful, creative and loving young woman.

    Reply
    • janellrardon

      Hannah, Do you know how bad (or is badly?) I want to get on a plane to Goa? Sit and sip by the beach with Candace’s new and dear friends.
      She speaks so highly of you. I can’t wait to meet you one day (speaking in faith here!) If you are ever in Virginia, you have a place in our home.
      Blessings!

      Reply

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