“Who questions much, shall learn much, and retain much.”
-Francis Bacon
“Sometimes the questions are complicated
and the answers are simple.”
Dr. Suess
I have always asked questions. Too many, at times.
Here on a much-needed vacation from the rigors of the last two years, I find myself unwinding a bit more slowly than usual. On Day Two, I felt like a spinning top that was at the end of the spinning cycle. Tossing back and forth, discombobulated and unnerved by the stillness.
“Mom, stop fidgeting,” Candace said. “You are making me nervous. Up, down, pick up a book, put down the book….”
“I’m not fidgeting,” I retorted.
“Uh, yes, you are fidgeting,” she smiled.
Fidget is a funny little word, isn’t it? Defined, “Make small movements, esp. of the hands and feet, through nervousness or impatience.”
As I thought about her words, directed at my inability to “be still” and “unwind,” I thought of the old proverb, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Me, on the other hand, I open the closet, get out the vacuum, plug it in, and clean–even if it is already clean. It is hard for me to be still. In fact, the only time I “allow myself” to be still is when I am on vacation. But for some reason, this particular vacation, I was finding it hard to do so. So, I was making “small movements” to fill in the lack of movement.
Then, on that same “fidget-filled” day, I received yet another rejection on a magazine article I had been working on. You think by now rejections would be easier to take. Oh no, rejection is never easy, is it? Easier, yes, but never easy. Allowing myself the necessary time to work through the sting, negative thoughts seemed to march right in like a fierce army raging towards the battlefront. After almost 28 years of marriage, Rob could sense my angst and asked me to take a walk on the beach.
“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” he asked.
“A whole lot,” I winced.
Rob listened and offered sage advice. “Timing,” he said as he squeezed my hand. “It’s all about timing.”
The next day, while on an early morning walk on the beach, I started asking God a whole lot of questions. After a few minutes, I envisioned drawing a question mark in the sand.
Give God the questions, Janell. Let the power of His Word wash over your questions. Just be still, right now, and be present in this moment in time. Enjoy your daughter who is only home for ten more days. Enjoy your husband. This is his vacation, too. He needs to relax, not figure out your future. Let it go. Let Jesus wash over your weary, exhausted self.
The next morning, we headed down to the beach early. I chose my “shell pen” and began drawing my vision.
Silently, I prayed:
Lord, take my questions.
Wash them away into the ocean of Your love.Let my mind be at rest.
My heart be at peace.Help me make small movements towards
being present and awake in the RIGHT NOW of my life.Amen.
Wash them away into the ocean of Your love.Let my mind be at rest.
My heart be at peace.Help me make small movements towards
being present and awake in the RIGHT NOW of my life.Amen.
Maybe you understand my “fidgetyness” oh too well. It’s an age old problem, see Luke 24:35-43, especially v. 41.
Take a few minutes to write in the sand of your life: Be still (Psalm 46:10).
Would you share your ways of “unwinding the spinning top of your life?” I’m sure we could all use some help!