If Mama Ain’t Healthy

While pregnant the stress hormones and other physiological consequences of depression and anxiety that circulate in the mother’s system, are also picked up by the developing fetus, through the placenta and the womb. This can alter the way a baby’s stress system develops.

http://theconversation.com/mental-health-depression-and-anxiety-in-young-mothers-is-up-by-50-in-a-generation-10091

The Podcast (3) Week Mini-Series: If Mama Ain’t Healthy

I’m trying something new in hopes that I can streamline and add even more value to your life. Instead of uploading the transcripts of our Wednesday Wisdom podcast episode, I will be posting additional thoughts, remarkable resources, and any other “things” I mentioned on the episode. Many of you have asked me to do this because you don’t have a Facebook page anymore. I get that and applaud you for making that decision. Let’s try this and see how it goes. I want to engage with you, so keep telling me how to best do that!

S2E13, If Mama Ain’t Healthy

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Ecclesiastes 4:12, NLT

A big thank you to our fellow community member, Vilbert Vallance, from Bangalore Baptist Hospital in Bangalore, India, for asking me to “go deeper” into what the three-fold cord of emotional health and spiritual authenticity really means. In S2E13, I begin answering his question by talking about what the first cord, a healthy sense of self, “looks like” in our personal and professional lives.

What is a Healthy Sense of Self?

“If you want to be different, you need to shift at the level of identity.”

Dr. Benjamin Perkus

There are many “proper” psychological definitions of a healthy sense of self, but I tend to lean towards the wisdom of the late D. L. Moody. He writes, “Character is what a man is in the dark.” A healthy sense of self is simply knowing whose you are and who you are. You are secure, safe, and stable in your God-breathed identity and are the same person “in front of people,” and “when you are alone.” No facades. No performance. Just you. I write in detail about this in Overcoming Hurtful Words: Rewrite Your Own Story, Practice 3, Choose Healthy over Unhealthy. If you need a little guidance “coming home to your true, healthy sense of self,” I offered these resources

• What is emotional intelligence (EQ)?
• Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions
• Aroma Freedom Technique (memory reconsolidation)
• The Spiritual Practices of Silence, Stillness, and Solitude. I turn to Ruth Haley Barton and her podcast to guide me into simple ways to implement these spiritual practices into my daily life.

S2E14,If Mama Ain’t Behavin’

When I think of our second cord, healthy behavior patterns, one word comes to mind: absorb, meaning, “To take in or soak up energy.” In childhood, we absorb the emotional energy of our first caregiver(s). We absorb the emotional energy of the home or place in which we develop. Most of the time it is unseen, intangible, and “in the air.” Because most of communication is non-verbal, we don’t “hear” it, we “see or sense” it. Our childhood development depends on the health of that home’s emotional atmosphere. If it is unhealthy, we have to develop coping mechanisms and defense strategies to survive. If it is health(ier), we have a firmer foundation of emotional health and ultimately, healthier behaviors as adults. It really is that simple. More resources can be found right here.

• Overcoming Hurtful Words, the book & additional helps.
• The Enneagram, a powerful personality typing methodology. Leads you to understand “the motives” behind your personality. A game-changer. Stay tuned for an upcoming podcast on this subject!
• Great article, “To Make a Change at Work, Tell Yourself a Different Story,” useful for personal heart work, as well.
• Implement “heart centering” and “grounding” exercises to develop healthy behavior patterns.

S2E15, If Mama Ain’t Communicating

Our third cord, healthy communication skills, might be the most challenging of all. Learning to use our words WISELY and with great self-control is something we face day after day. One word can change the entire course of a life. Stupid. Worthless. Messy.

As parents, we hold our children’s hearts in our hands. Quite a daunting experience. I know. Now that my three are ADULTS, I see more and more how absolutely critical the emotional atmosphere of the home really is. That is WHY I pound the table on this three-fold cord and WHY I call back with great passion. Raising children is a right-now job. You get ONE chance. Here are a few resources to help you hone your communication skills:

• Overcoming Hurtful Words: Practices 2 & 3. I help you move through three very important questions: Why do I think the way I think? Why do I hear the way I hear? Why do people treat me the way they treat me & why do I treat people the way I treat them?
• Tremendous podcast conversations on healthy communication: Comparison, Listening, Marriage, and Family.

Above ALL Else

Before I go, please read this:

We are not perfect people.
We will make mistakes.
That is why we need God.
That is why we need each other.
Healing and LIFE happens inside of community.
My heart and mind need YOU.
Your heart and mind need ME.
Together, we will practice and progress
and ultimately find true freedom in Christ.

Until next time,