Today, I’ve got accepting love on my mind.
Why? Two reasons:
- I truly believe in order to overcome insecurity, we have to be able to receive/accept love.
- In order to receive/accept love, we have to believe we are worthy of being loved.
Loveologist Wendy Strger says it beautifully,
“Learning how to let in the love that is constantly around us, coming toward us, yielding to our asking hearts is perhaps the only lesson worth mastering. It begins with establishing your own worth as the center of your existence. Imagining yourself as a worthy container of love, and patching the cracks that leak out the essence of our lovability, is an inside job. The repairs are worth the effort as our willingness to witness and experience the painful recognition of our own beliefs fall away. We are in fact innately capable of receiving and transmuting the love that comes toward us.”
A Worthy Container of Love
Let’s stand on the shoulders of this loveologist (who knew there was such a thing?) for a moment.
This past weekend, I had a great conversation with a young woman. We were questioning the why’s of our behaviors. After about two hours of fabulousness, we came to a great thought:
We put conditions on ourselves to be loved.
If I do this, then I will be loved.
If I say this, then I will be loved.
If I look like this, then I will be loved.
If I act like this, then I will be loved.
If I perform this certain act, I will be loved.
If I ________________________________ (you fill in the blank)
Until we are immersed in unconditional love, we continue to put conditions on ourselves to be loved.
It’s a mad cycle.
I’m sure this isn’t a new revelation, but it was new to me. To us. Up until this conversation, I’ve been stumped as to why I continue being inept at receiving unconditional love. As we talked it through, it became clearer and clearer. When we are part of a group of people who accept us at face value, i.e. family, church, friendship, workplace, academia, etc., our much-guarded hearts begin to melt. Slowly and steadily, the deep freeze of pretense transforms to authenticity. It takes time. It won’t happen overnight, but I promise, it will happen. Unconditional love is a safe place where we can be ourselves, yet be challenged to be our even better selves.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a family that loves me. My inability to receive love is nobody’s fault but my own. I’m working on it. One thing is for sure—the mad cycle has been broken.
In counseling terms, this girl has had a breakthrough! And now I want to bring breakthrough to you!
Patching the Cracks
Yes, accepting love starts deep inside our hearts—one little patch at a time.
Insecurity will leave when we finally open the door to accepting love.
Don’t waste one more second. Open the door today.
And, as always, if you’ve discovered the power of unconditional love, will you share it with us?
Help is Right Here: